Have you ever wondered about how a change invariably feels much more enormous when it is thrust upon you rather than being of your own choice? That’s a prime thought on my mind these days as I go through decidedly one of the larger career upheavals that I am likely to see in my life. Before you start getting wicked ideas about pink slips and job losses, I’ll clarify that it’s nothing of the sort. Not even close really. And if I speak or write about it, it almost seems trivial – but it isn’t really for the 60 odd people affected by it in one way or the other – mentally, logistically, psychologically.
The funny thing is that a lot of the sixty were probably thinking voluntarily as well of the changes that have now become inevitable. It would have just been a matter of time – giving or taking a few months. But when it’s not a conscious choice but rather a choice shoved upon you seemingly unceremoniously, the reactions to it are poles apart from what they would have otherwise been. The discomfort arising from the unknown, indefinite, unspecified is extremely stark.
The other interesting thing was how the responses to the news changed as each day passed by – from shocked numbness on day 1 to it’s-really-not-such-a-big-deal by day 4 – and a roller coaster of an emotional journey in between. Goes to prove that time is not just the best healer but also the best indolence inducing drug.
For me – in a nutshell – the last two weeks have been a jolt back to reality – a little shove to remind me that maybe I was getting too comfortable too fast.
And so life goes on. Adios GRSS.
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Wednesday, August 02, 2006
My Experiments With Fruit
I guess I was a problem child. Though I have to establish right at the beginning that I was a docile and tame little tyke who never threw tantrums or went screaming and shouting and throwing things around. I was in fact quiet, peaceful and respectful as I continue to be (those who disagree may face dire consequences!)
My problem was more of a gastronomic kind. I refused to eat or drink anything that I should have been eating and drinking. Rather understandably it created quite a huge hassle for my parents and at times even became a cause of considerable stress.
To give you an example – I had a massive issue with milk (and continue to do so till date!). Many a battle fought in our little home had their origins ensconced in milk and other such dairy products.
However, the source of utmost distress to the parents was my utter refusal to eat anything that was either green or had pit(s) - the only exception being mangoes of course. Which meant all green vegetables and most fruits were out of the question. While I was at home I resisted both with immense fortitude. It was easier to do so once I started living on my own – I was free to pick the muffins instead of the peaches and the nachos instead of the avocado.
Then recently I decided that this was unsustainable and that I must try to repair at least some of the damage I had caused to my body in the last quarter of a century. Even if it meant that I had to throw in the weapons in my combat with the ‘healthy’ stuff. I did set a limit to how much I could bear of course – so the leaves and such greens were still out for the moment. But I opened the doors to my house and stomach to fruits.
So in the last few months I have built my tolerance to most things with skins, stones and the likes – plums and nectarines, cherries and berries, melons and apricots. At the beginning, a lot of them ended their lives in the trash chute of the building after having rotted through and through waiting for me to grant them some attention. But things are improving slowly but surely. Who knows – I may even be buying broccoli soon! (UGH!!!)
My problem was more of a gastronomic kind. I refused to eat or drink anything that I should have been eating and drinking. Rather understandably it created quite a huge hassle for my parents and at times even became a cause of considerable stress.
To give you an example – I had a massive issue with milk (and continue to do so till date!). Many a battle fought in our little home had their origins ensconced in milk and other such dairy products.
However, the source of utmost distress to the parents was my utter refusal to eat anything that was either green or had pit(s) - the only exception being mangoes of course. Which meant all green vegetables and most fruits were out of the question. While I was at home I resisted both with immense fortitude. It was easier to do so once I started living on my own – I was free to pick the muffins instead of the peaches and the nachos instead of the avocado.
Then recently I decided that this was unsustainable and that I must try to repair at least some of the damage I had caused to my body in the last quarter of a century. Even if it meant that I had to throw in the weapons in my combat with the ‘healthy’ stuff. I did set a limit to how much I could bear of course – so the leaves and such greens were still out for the moment. But I opened the doors to my house and stomach to fruits.
So in the last few months I have built my tolerance to most things with skins, stones and the likes – plums and nectarines, cherries and berries, melons and apricots. At the beginning, a lot of them ended their lives in the trash chute of the building after having rotted through and through waiting for me to grant them some attention. But things are improving slowly but surely. Who knows – I may even be buying broccoli soon! (UGH!!!)
Monday, July 31, 2006
Taking Stock
31 July 2006
More than half the year is over. So it’s time to take stock. Here goes…
Most important discovery:
1. The English have good reason to be as obsessed as they are with the weather.
2. It can rain absolutely any time in England. Seriously! Point in case: When I got into the train right now it was hot and dry. All of 25 minutes later it’s pelting heavy drops across the train window.
Find of the half-year: Paul’s. Nothing like a tall glass of Viennese hot chocolate with oodles of whipped cream.
Biggest boon-in-disguise: Losing my cell phone. I seriously should’ve bought a new one 2 years ago! (looking forward to a brand new Sony Ericsson K800i...yippeee!)
Best addition to culinary artillery: Nachos-salsa-cheese vd style – it has all it takes to make a yummm meal – easy to make, quick, spicy and heavy on the cheese ;-)
Important enlightenment: Football can be understood by women. And it can be great fun. Specially if watched live amongst crazed fans chanting slogans and screaming for murder!
Vital realization: Great friends need not be made during school and college only. Some of them come your way much later (are you listening Ritz?!) And also – it’s no fun shopping without them in an alien city!
Most eagerly awaited movie: KANK…who knows I might be in some of the frames! :-)
Greatest insight gained: There is such a thing as too many castles!!
Biggest learning of the year so far though is that some things are just not meant to be. And it’s better to leave them alone and move on forward...
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
It used to be like that…
There used to be a time when life was simple.
I remember the daily routine that I had for nearly 15 years – never getting up by the alarm buzzing away to glory, being shaken out of the deep slumber by mummy, sleepwalking into the bathroom to get ready, forcing down that much hated glass of milk and running away to the bus stop with things tumbling out of an open school bag. Getting back, watching TV, chatting at the dinner table, reading, spending endless hours on the phone, the arguments with parents and the fights with my sister, going out and staying in. There was so much order in all the chaos that seemed to encompass every aspect of life. Everything was taken care of – every object had its place in the house. The food was ready when I wanted it, the clothes were always clean and ironed and there was always cold water in the fridge.
Life still has a routine – I guess. Only the chaos in the order disorients me now at times. I can still find my things – only I have to look into the suitcases rather than the cupboards more often than not. The food’s still there – even though it’s out of a plastic box at most times. The old friends are around and the phone conversations still happen – when we manage to steal time from work and travel, stock markets and laundry.
I am not complaining – I love the way things are right now. But sometimes I can’t help but wish I could sneak off with the old gang to watch a movie and have some chaat and come back home to tell the parents I was at the library.
And I wish I could ignore the alarm as I did.
I remember the daily routine that I had for nearly 15 years – never getting up by the alarm buzzing away to glory, being shaken out of the deep slumber by mummy, sleepwalking into the bathroom to get ready, forcing down that much hated glass of milk and running away to the bus stop with things tumbling out of an open school bag. Getting back, watching TV, chatting at the dinner table, reading, spending endless hours on the phone, the arguments with parents and the fights with my sister, going out and staying in. There was so much order in all the chaos that seemed to encompass every aspect of life. Everything was taken care of – every object had its place in the house. The food was ready when I wanted it, the clothes were always clean and ironed and there was always cold water in the fridge.
Life still has a routine – I guess. Only the chaos in the order disorients me now at times. I can still find my things – only I have to look into the suitcases rather than the cupboards more often than not. The food’s still there – even though it’s out of a plastic box at most times. The old friends are around and the phone conversations still happen – when we manage to steal time from work and travel, stock markets and laundry.
I am not complaining – I love the way things are right now. But sometimes I can’t help but wish I could sneak off with the old gang to watch a movie and have some chaat and come back home to tell the parents I was at the library.
And I wish I could ignore the alarm as I did.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
random musings along the rail track...
The unthinkable, the unexpected and the nearly impossible has finally happened – the weather gods are smiling down at London at last! Warm, sunny, beautiful days are giving rise to a warmer, sunnier, fuzzier feeling of all-round happiness.
All’s well in the royal land of the queen. So much so that even a Monday morning seems inadequate to dampen the high spirits (that’s another first for you!) as Nidhi and I make our way to Brighton through the lush, green English countryside. Watching the same paths and fields covered under a carpet of snow just weeks ago seems like a distant hazy memory now.
Maybe I was just asleep during the journeys these last few days or too preoccupied to wonder at the magnificence of the outdoors, but suddenly I notice that the branches that were so conspicuously bare only a few days ago are now laden with fresh new tiny green leaves. And intermittently through the greenery, one suddenly catches a glimpse of a plethora of colors as entire trees full of purple, yellow, pink and white flowers race past the train windows.
The distant hillocks with swirling fog (yes it’s still pretty early morning!) are very reminiscent of a Harry Potter-esque feeling. One can almost imagine an enchanted land surrounded by deep lakes and a mysterious mist in the far away distance. And the possibilities seem endless as the train weaves through dark tunnels and bright fields.
It’s true – nature has a way of affecting the way we think and feel. If only we take the time to observe it.
All’s well in the royal land of the queen. So much so that even a Monday morning seems inadequate to dampen the high spirits (that’s another first for you!) as Nidhi and I make our way to Brighton through the lush, green English countryside. Watching the same paths and fields covered under a carpet of snow just weeks ago seems like a distant hazy memory now.
Maybe I was just asleep during the journeys these last few days or too preoccupied to wonder at the magnificence of the outdoors, but suddenly I notice that the branches that were so conspicuously bare only a few days ago are now laden with fresh new tiny green leaves. And intermittently through the greenery, one suddenly catches a glimpse of a plethora of colors as entire trees full of purple, yellow, pink and white flowers race past the train windows.
The distant hillocks with swirling fog (yes it’s still pretty early morning!) are very reminiscent of a Harry Potter-esque feeling. One can almost imagine an enchanted land surrounded by deep lakes and a mysterious mist in the far away distance. And the possibilities seem endless as the train weaves through dark tunnels and bright fields.
It’s true – nature has a way of affecting the way we think and feel. If only we take the time to observe it.
Thursday, February 23, 2006
India
I have been in London a total of 36 days now. It still seems alien and unfamiliar. And this is the city that I thought I could live in were I ever forced to leave India. Seems I can’t. And I have more friends here than I do even in Delhi. Strange isn’t it – how that something special and unknown always ties you to the place of your birth – no matter where you run to and for how long.
And the feeling grows stronger when you see our boys thrash the neighbors as they did!:-)
And the feeling grows stronger when you see our boys thrash the neighbors as they did!:-)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)